I have decided this is my stress on the verge of crying blog. Not just because I can type the way I want, but that no one really reads this, so hear it goes  I am having the tough time in school. I can't seem to do better than B work. I know I am better than this, but I don't feel like it right now. I completely backed into this guy today and I didn't get his info, but he got mine. I am completely freaking out! I told my parents of course, but I am so frustrated. I feel like I was completely taken advantage of. The guy saw a young female and now I will be paying for it. I am tired of feeling like I am incompetent. I try and try and never feel like I get head way. I read my scriptures, I try to pray, I go to church, but I still feel like I am getting punched in the face. Well, my frustration and stupidity is real, but my will power hanging on by a thread. I just want to curl into a ball and not move, but that can't happen since I have school and people to serve. Remind me why I try to be everywhere for everyone, but yet I don't succeed in helping anyone. Sometimes I wish an old friend would just call and say Hi. I have missed you, but no such luck I am the sappy doormat that calls my old friends just to stay connected. Someday, I will be the friend that people call from a long time ago and say hey, I have missed you. I am thankful for my friends in my life now, but how long will they be in my life? A breath, a moment, a minute? I wish I knew, but I guess I must just have to enjoy them while I can. To all my old friends, I care about you, but to all my current friends thanks, and to my future friends, I can't wait to meet you! Well, off to homework and some sleep (if I can get any).

P.S. To all those that are struggling, even those smiling are hurting inside and trust me I know how deceiving a smile can be.

What a day.

Well, life is like the roller coaster at Disney Land called Space Mountain.You never know when it is going to drop, but you know it is going to drop. Yesterday and today has been like a freakin HUGE drop. I keep hoping that it will come up and it has a little. A sweet guy in my ward called just to see how I was doing and well of course I really couldn't talk because my emotions are all over the place. I hate feeling stuck and no where to go. I am trying to be an adult and make decisions, but people like to say hurtful things that just WHAM smack you in your face. I feel like I should go home, but I really don't want to deal with that drama, but I am sick and tired of my car breaking down and my dad not being able to be here to fix it. I know I won't always have my dad around, but I love when he helps me out. I feel like an emotional basket case. I have so much going on and I got behind in my classes. I really need to focus and can't seem to. I keep thinking I going to be productive today! then I end up being hurt or sick and being so unproductive. I need to figure out my mind and get everything figured out. Well, that is it for now more tomorrow.