I have decided this is my stress on the verge of crying blog. Not just because I can type the way I want, but that no one really reads this, so hear it goes  I am having the tough time in school. I can't seem to do better than B work. I know I am better than this, but I don't feel like it right now. I completely backed into this guy today and I didn't get his info, but he got mine. I am completely freaking out! I told my parents of course, but I am so frustrated. I feel like I was completely taken advantage of. The guy saw a young female and now I will be paying for it. I am tired of feeling like I am incompetent. I try and try and never feel like I get head way. I read my scriptures, I try to pray, I go to church, but I still feel like I am getting punched in the face. Well, my frustration and stupidity is real, but my will power hanging on by a thread. I just want to curl into a ball and not move, but that can't happen since I have school and people to serve. Remind me why I try to be everywhere for everyone, but yet I don't succeed in helping anyone. Sometimes I wish an old friend would just call and say Hi. I have missed you, but no such luck I am the sappy doormat that calls my old friends just to stay connected. Someday, I will be the friend that people call from a long time ago and say hey, I have missed you. I am thankful for my friends in my life now, but how long will they be in my life? A breath, a moment, a minute? I wish I knew, but I guess I must just have to enjoy them while I can. To all my old friends, I care about you, but to all my current friends thanks, and to my future friends, I can't wait to meet you! Well, off to homework and some sleep (if I can get any).

P.S. To all those that are struggling, even those smiling are hurting inside and trust me I know how deceiving a smile can be.

What a day.

Well, life is like the roller coaster at Disney Land called Space Mountain.You never know when it is going to drop, but you know it is going to drop. Yesterday and today has been like a freakin HUGE drop. I keep hoping that it will come up and it has a little. A sweet guy in my ward called just to see how I was doing and well of course I really couldn't talk because my emotions are all over the place. I hate feeling stuck and no where to go. I am trying to be an adult and make decisions, but people like to say hurtful things that just WHAM smack you in your face. I feel like I should go home, but I really don't want to deal with that drama, but I am sick and tired of my car breaking down and my dad not being able to be here to fix it. I know I won't always have my dad around, but I love when he helps me out. I feel like an emotional basket case. I have so much going on and I got behind in my classes. I really need to focus and can't seem to. I keep thinking I going to be productive today! then I end up being hurt or sick and being so unproductive. I need to figure out my mind and get everything figured out. Well, that is it for now more tomorrow.

Loved one lost.

This is a talk and poem I wrote for my great grandfather's funeral. I found it and I needed to post it. It is crazy things that people leave us, but still be with us. To all those who have lost a loved one, you can understand this.

He was a man with many talents. He traveled the world over, and went to near and far away lands,

But what made this man amazing was the two boys him and his lovely wife had.

They were a tight knit group. Oh, the stories they must have told and the experiences they must have had.

He now can see all the pride they had in him as a dad. Their father wasn’t ust ordinary he was extraordinary.

He fought across the sea and lived to tell the tale. However, this man knew things beyond anything you and I could know and feel. He was a mason, Shriner, and even the Knights Templar, and still we only scratch the surface of this man we all loved.

We bid you sweet adieu.

We cannot mourn a life well lived. We can only smile for the man you lived to be.

So, give your wife a kiss for us, and wait for us we will be there again.

HOME!

He’s a comin home, home, home.

He’s comin home.

He lived a life many of us have dreamed.

He lived a life many of us have only seen.

He had hope and dreams.

He was a man, he was a father.

He served with Masons, Shriners, and even the Knights Templar.

He went home, home, home.

He went home.

He went to meet his sweetheart and all those before him.

He is in peace, peace, peace.

He must be in beauty.

He is missed her on earth,

But he is home, home, home.

He is home.

MY FIRST PAY CHECK!!!

I got my FIRST pay check. I am completely happy now that I am a working girl. It is fun working at Arctic Circle. I hope I can keep this job and do school because it is good money for the job I do.

The goings on!

I have been thinking of the past lately, and I was cleaning out my email. I came across these pictures. They are from my freshmen year in High School. I was shocked to find them, and I thought it would be neat to share them with you. I see how much I have changed. I am glad I have changed for the better. I miss high school. I don't miss the drama, or the judgements, but I miss sports, and all the activities I did. If I knew what I knew now about who I could really be I would go back in a second and change things. I am glad I was able to share these memories with you.



One of the many fun days I have had. I played mud kick ball, went to the conference center, the gateway, curry in a hurry, and then a bonfire to end the day. It was such a great day! I love my YSA ward. I am glad I have such great friends. Now I don't look completely awesome in all these pics. The fire one it was like midnight, so i was a little tired.






I was working on my eye for taking photos and I just love taking pics of my cousins. These are from my Aunt's sister's wedding. I just love the temple and how beautiful it truly is.






These pics our from my trip home. The first two are from graduation. I cannot believe I have been graduated for a year. I am in shock. The girl in the pics is my great friend Roxy.


It is such a beautiful thing to be able to watch the sun set so sweetly. I miss seeing the unobstructed sunsets.
Boweling with the girlies. I bet you can't tell who I am. LOL.




So here are just a few more pics of my trip to Florida. Me with the Utah State flag, my Alabamian friend Shuji and me with our wands, and the last one is of me with Lee Greenwood. It was an amazing trip I miss all of my great friends and the memories.

Vacation in Paradise

Just recently, I traveled across the country to lovely Orlando, Florida. I was with some of the greatest people in my life. 41 different states that thought the way I thought and was who they were. I love my YLC family. While on this grand trip, I meant a grammy winner, I flow with Harry Potter and I dueled with a Ninja wizard with my hermione wand. Yes, I have a wand, and I know how to use it.
Coming back from that trip makes me miss the fun and laughter I had there. I cannot wait to be finished with my first year of college. I am so close. When I stepped off the plane I realized I would never be the same. I have grown and become someone different. I love hang with my family. Speaking about family, one of my long lost cousins have return into the family picture. TO tell a condensed version of how this happen is simple. My Uncle Josh gave up his rights to one of his many kids, and her mom passed away recently, and her grandma finally told her about Josh which has lead her to the family. I am excited to meet her, but I hope she isn't wishing for something grand in this family. We are just simple ish people. We can be complicated, but we can also be weird. Will we will just have to see. I should be meeting her in about a week. These pics posted are from my trip, Enjoy!!!








Just a few to give you an idea of what I did. Want to know more ask me and I will tell more.

What is the story

I have done a lot of thinking the last couple of months. I never really thought about it, but I am truly blessed. I hear about peoples problems and all I can think about is what I have been given. I live with a GREAT Aunt with great kids, and I have parents that support me no matter what. Yes, I have my problems, and YES, I have my ups and downs, but NO, I am not about to feel sorry for myself when I think of all the pain in the world, all the struggles of life. I am an AMERICAN, and until someone messes up my freedom, I will stay American. I live in a country where many people are dieing to live here. I understand we have our own problems, but if people would learn from history some of our problems would be fixed. I love being me the simple and down to earth person.